underachiever

Snarky canine asked 8 months ago

I am much closer to retirement age than I am to the start of my career. It\\\’s Christmas, a time for reflection and when I look back I made a host of mistakes in my life that have caused me to not come close to my potential. I am considered a good person but when it comes to making good life decisions I can\\\’t seem to get out of my own way. This is incredible because in my work I dispense invaluable information to others. Now I have adult children, none have respect for me and I have spent very little time with their families. I perceive that they also see me as a relative failure given what I bring to the table. Today, my wife told me she hates me and while she has said hurtful things to me in the past, today I saw the hate in her eyes. I am not planning to hurt myself but the business that I have run for many years is crumbling. I am now chasing bills instead of just paying them in a regular sequence. I have applied for jobs but as I said above I am closer to retirement age than I am to the start of a career. So, my question is whether I would be better off ( happier) just divorcing, moving away and finishing my working career elsewhere? I still have good health but I am concerned that my diminishing mental well being will translate into a deterioration of health.

1 Answers
blooHOST Staff answered 8 months ago

I too am in that same age group and the first thing I would say is it’s never too late to make a change.  As long as you are alive and kicking, there is still time to build better relationships with your family and whatever else you desire to do.  It might turn out to be a different version of that than it would have been earlier in your life, but you can still make meaningful change.
 
As far as whether you would be happier divorcing and moving away, I think only you can answer that.  Does the thought make you feel like a weight has been lifted?  Often that’s a good indicator that it’s the right thing.  Do you feel like things can get better in your relationship if you change yourself?  Or would it take changes from your spouse as well.  You can change yourself, but you can’t force them to change.  That might be something to consider as well.
 
Please write back and let us know how things are going.  I really do believe that change is possible if you want it.  We’re never too old to learn and grow and make better choices.