is-this-behavior-normal

Questions and AnswersCategory: Questionsis-this-behavior-normal
Ashley asked 3 weeks ago

I just want to start by saying I know everyone and every case of depression is different. However, I\’m trying to get an inside look at how depression changes relationships and what the first clues are, if there even is any. My bf I believe started suffering from depression around this time of year last year and attempted suicide in early January. He then sought out help around June or July. Ever since then he\’s seemed to be doing really well. My boyfriend and I communicate every day even if its just a few times a day. I think in a sense it\’s my way of making sure he\’s okay. Anyways, a few weeks ago he grew super distant and would take days to respond to a text message but was on social media (not as much as normal). I spoke with a friend of mine about this and her immediate response was calling him names and saying there was another girl. That might be the case, but he did this in May where he didn\’t respond for weeks and he explained he was getting help. I just want to know if this is common behavior with people who suffer from depression and what I can do to help. But at the same time, I feel like I might just be getting used. Kind of like that he knows whenever he texts me I\’ll respond and be there for him so he does it like hey I\’ll text her whenever I feel like it. I just believe that if that person is important you\’ll find a way to maintain communication. Any insight on this and common characteristics of relationships involving depression would be greatly appreciated. I just want to understand a little more about what I should do, how I should deal with the situation, and just an overall understanding

1 Answers
blooregardHOST Staff answered 3 weeks ago

Going through periods where you isolate yourself and you just can’t deal with being social is a normal type of behavior for those dealing with depression so that may be what’s going on, especially if you’ve seen this pattern before.  I think what you really want to know, however, is whether he might have been unfaithful.  The best way to get to the bottom of things is to sit down with him and talk.  I would just say that I’ve noticed he’s not being as communicative as he used to be and ask if everything is ok.  If he says his depression has been worse lately, then it opens up an opportunity to be offer him your support.  If he seems evasive or behaves in a suspicious way, then that will give you some information as well.  I really do believe, though, that talking about things is the best way to go.  Don’t be accusing in your tone.  Just be supportive and see where the conversation leads.  Good luck and please check back and let us know how things go.