I lie to myself everyday that “I’m okay.”, ” I’m sure they don’t mean it. They’re just kidding.”
But no it has become quite frequent even from the start that the people (my friends) who I love and would never forget the most would continue to make me feel irrelevant and inferior towards them.
I feel attacked most of the time, that I’m always the target, the weakest, and the most vulnerable among my peers.
I just want to break down in front of them because they’ve already told me every possible insult that they could throw at me, but I cant because i don’t want to lose them and make them think that I’m “too sensitive” that “I can’t take a joke” though I think that everything they joke about me are either half-meant or is really meant.
What should I do? Should I leave them? Should I insult them back? Should I let them do their thing and pretend that it doesn’t affect me?
That’s a tough spot to be in. If I was you I would simply talk with my friends and let them know how I feel. You can tell them how you feel without breaking down. I wish you the best!
I agree with what Darkseeker said. Have a talk with your friends about how you are feeling. If they are truly your friends then they will understand. Perhaps they just don’t realize the effect that their words are having? Some people get in the habit of relating to each other in this way without really considering that a person who is feeling vulnerable may not be able to just “take it” they way they do. If they do react badly though, you might be better off without them. After all, what true friend would want to make you feel so bad?