Sorry for this weird question, but it just doesn’t let me fall asleep for the last months. I don’t know why I’m asking such kind of questions, but receiving an answer is very important to me.
How to tell someone that is the most important to you, only person in a whole world that you are able to talk to, that you want to kill yourself? The person that you think you love. Love doesn’t really exist, but she’s special. She’s someone you can die for. But you won’t have the possibility. Just leave. Let her go on her own through the rest of her life. Everyone pushed you away because of your orientation and you live with her as couple even when you’re not one.
This person has some mental health problems including depression and aggression tendencies, bad situation at home and you’re one of the two people that she only talks to – it will probably break her, but you can’t be here for her any longer, it just lasts for too long. She doesn’t know about what you’re planning to do, because you were always too scared when it comes to talking about emotions and don’t want to show her everything – in order to prevent her from all the bad. You want her to be happy, not worrying about yourself. She’s got enough to worry about. You were for her for the last years, but it became worse and you can’t stand yourself any longer – everything is closed, planned and ready, you can disappear in any moment, but she is the thing that you hadn’t included and now you just don’t know what to do. Tell or leave without even a word. How to tell- is my question. Sorry guys.
You have a caring heart first and foremost. It’s important to learn to not carry this heaviness all alone. The person you care about are they open to receiving help? Their is no easy answer to this. Its important that you keep being the friend and listening ear that you are.
I would also recommend calling a suicidal hotline and encouraging your friend to call the suicidal hotline. Do you feel like this effecting you emotionally and mentally?
we are here to support you and be a listening ear.