Does depression cause indecisiveness in relationships?

Questions and AnswersCategory: QuestionsDoes depression cause indecisiveness in relationships?
Sarah asked 2 weeks ago

I met a guy a year ago and we immediately hit it off. I could tell he wasn’t big on female attention, which of course drew me closer. We began hanging out and within a month we were kissing and doing all the things couples do. Well he ended up going through a 2 week depressive stage and told me he was acting ‘crazy’ and didn’t want me around. We got over it then about a month later he stopped communication for a month and a half and then randomly texted me back and explained he was in the process of getting help from a different doctor. Since then we’ve been extremely good about communication and hanging out. We’ve talked about marriage and babies but still not a definite answer to what we are in terms of a relationship. He’s already told me he doesn’t do the friends with benefits or the sleeping around but that’s exactly what I feel we are. So anyways like I said we were doing great and then about 3 weeks ago radio silence again for a week. He was on social media retweeting stuff about depression so I figured that something was going on. However, I also feel like he’s screwing me over because he still communicates with his guy friends while he’s ignoring me. When I bring up these relationship issues he kind of plays it off like it’s not a big deal. I don’t want to be that type of person that’s like whoops ok on to the next guy but at the same time I don’t wanna waste my life waiting on someone who used to feel this way now is acting super indecisive. I guess I want to know if this is normal with someone who suffers from depression or if he’s just being shady. Also is it normal to have this many episodes within a year? 

1 Answers
blooregardHOST Staff answered 2 weeks ago

Hi Sarah,
It’s totally normal to have multiple episodes of depression throughout the year.  It could even be that he never stopped feeling depressed, but sometimes it’s worse than others.
Being indecisive in a relationship isn’t a part of depression, but wanting to isolate yourself from those you love is.  From what you’ve said here, it sounds like he has a pattern of retreating when he’s feeling at his lowest.  That doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s being indecisive; it could mean a lot of things.  Maybe his guy friends keep it more superficial so he feels more comfortable around them because he knows he won’t have to deal with his feelings where he knows you care deeply and are likely to notice that he’s not doing well and ask about it?  That could be why he laughs it off and tells you it’s no big deal too.  He may just not be good with dealing with his emotions.  It’s really hard to say for sure though.  Are you friends with any of his friends?  Maybe if you talk to them they can give you some more insight into what’s going on his mind?